drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
