But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize