I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
