We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
try to milk me bitch
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
