i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
