so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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