watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What drink are we having for lunch?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your penis caused this!
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