Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
