So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
