Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
