I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize