Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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