Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it's not cheating when I paid for it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
