You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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