I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
