Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
