dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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