Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she peed on how many people?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
