you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
