Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
zippers are such a cool invention
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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