My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
