So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
