we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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