I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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