that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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