for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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