You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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