The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i love accidental penises.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
