so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
