Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
