Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize