Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
