dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
