Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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