You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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