Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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