The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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