I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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