just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
