we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
