just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
