Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense

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(303): View more from Colorado

You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i dont even know how to be here

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(260): View more from Indiana

Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

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(817): View more from Texas

I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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(314): View more from Missouri

you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?

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(567): View more from Ohio

she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live

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(609): View more from New Jersey

After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.

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