he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
