No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
