oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
