I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
