There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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