More tranny stories later!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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