Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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