I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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