My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
