She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My vagina just clenched in fear
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
