There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
home. puking in laundry basket.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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