i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
