i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
