Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i want to swaddle you in tequila
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize