You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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