I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
