i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
