Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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